The NSA Sent Employees Talking Points to Share Over Thanksgiving Dinner

There are two things in life that will always bring families together: Thanksgiving dinner, and casual conversations about the National Security Agency. At least, that’s what the NSA thinks is the case for its employees, having sent each a list of approved talking points regarding the country’s favorite governmental department.

Such a list was uncovered by reporter Kevin Gosztola, and was to be used by NSA employees who were unsure of the proper response to give when questioned by relatives or friends over the conversation-heavy Thanksgiving holiday. It’s actually not a bad idea when you think about it — after all, whose grandma isn’t going to bring up that one time she got pat down in the Atlanta airport? Sure, that’s the TSA, but grandma doesn’t know any better.

This list rapid-fires statistics on how well the NSA has prevented against over “54 terrorist attacks globally since 9/11,” how the NSA always “performs its mission the right way” and how the department makes a continuing effort to “embrace public dialogue.”

As you might imagine, the document makes no mention of one Edward Snowden, the man responsible for a number of high-tier, government-level leaks this past year, and as a result put the NSA in pot after pot of hot water. But at least they can put all that hot water to use and boil a good few turkeys.

Give the list a read-through, and enjoy.